Things that happened on Saturday and Sudnay

I sat down today to listen to you. I listened for hours about everything that I did wrong. Everything that I could have imagined I did wrong.

Things You said:

“You walk far to slow when we are in a hurry. You’re the reason I’m always late”

“You never speak up when we are in crowded rooms, So I can never understand what’s going on”

“You dress to simple. And it makes me look materialistic and superficial.”

“ You like music that isn’t even popular anymore, and when the windows are down and the music is turned up, people in the car next to us have to stare.”

“You’re to mean when you write, and it hurts. And I have to clean up the mess.”

“You cook too much, so we can never go out!”

“You read too much, and it makes me look dumb.”

“You sleep to earlier, so we never have time to talk.”

“You still go to school and it makes me look uneducated and even lazy.”

I sweat in the center of my palms and bottom of my feet turned cold and I began to worry about catching a cold. My nervous nature caused my hands to shake and my fingers began to make holes in my simple skirt. My nervous nature will never allow to stop doing that. Pretty soon its going to look like I buy my clothes that way. Trademark. I don’t ever look up at you while you talk like this. I sit and I listen. I nod my head or shake my head. I say that I’m sorry and that I will try harder.

And you say:

“It makes me sick when you do that…. Like you’re some type of target or victim or something. I have every single right to say the things I say.”

Here’s the part where I hide my tears. Emotions can be so over whelming. I look at you and with a quiet voice say “I promise I will try harder, please dear just give me some time.” And you will look at me and shake your head. And then walk around the room, pick up a book I’m reading and then say: “ I just don’t know what I can do anymore.” Then you will look up at me; I know its mostly because you like to feel superb in situations like this. And I will play into every move. I will have you your gold crown and bow before you. After some time you will come back into the living and sit on the couch next to me. You’ll give a little sigh and then scratch your neck, and the look over at me and you will say:

“You never see how hard I try to get along with you. And that is what makes me just want to give up. But I can’t cause then I will feel bad.”


Here's looking at you kid: